Like a dog that reaches back to sniff himself, like a pigeon who delivers its message yet inexplicably returns to where it began, like a Phoenix rising from some sort of ashes, one must return to the homeland once in a while. This weekend , I flew like the Canadian geese to the north country. A goal of a quarterly trip in which I fail once again rather miserably, but when we return, the good times are always waiting in the shadows. Only this time, I did not want to just return to the same ole haunts, the same eateries, drinkeries,  the same routine.  Hell, I am old as hell, time to break out a bit and drag everyone with me.

Twisted Cuisine, Kenosha, Wisconsin

So, with a full family in hand, we headed to a differen eatery in Kenosha, Wisconsin. Lets be clear.  In this town of 10,000 bars, one on every corner…..the great, great Italian and Greek food, we branched out to something totally different. I had thought this was a new eatery, but,  enter Twisted Cuisine (And for you morons, click the name for the website.) This eatery has a vibe that is just not Kenosha. It is small and quaint, with a menu that tops over 25 items…..most really interesting. I was floored to find out from my local family that this had been open since late nineties.  Where the hell have I been beside under my Greek and Italian rock? The dinner started out with a round of drinks from the lively bar area where it was a mixture of those waiting for a table and those just doing the drinking thing. Good God.  No Belvedere.  First mistake.  OK.  I ordered Grey Goose, and will just have to put the review up on, (again morons, you get the picture…good on ya!) The extensive menu of over 25 items ranges from Bloody Mary Salmon, Apple Reisling Port, to Roasted Duck Gnocchi. Truly interesting menu.

The place was crowded.  In fact, it was over run by patrons, leaving the management scrambling to get it all right. I had to use my sales thinking out of the box to get them to seat us and honor our reservations for 8p (truly late for Kenosha eating, by then, normally,  you have settled into your first bar stop). Afterall, we had a 88 year old family member celebrating a birthday with us, standing around was not in the cards.  The beginning drink was served in a unique, branded glass.  Not my martini shaker, but I liked it. Would have to go for two…..

For dinner I tried the Roasted Duck Pinocchio.  So I lied, every trip here I do order Gnocchi, since the rest of the world (sans Italy and Italian sectors of cities), and especially Texas with the exception of the trendy eateries that serve Gnocchi as a fru fru dish, from where I am from, no one seems to know Gnocchi. (By the way, the spell checker on this most popular blog program, knows not what Gnocchi is either, It tells me I am spelling it wrong, but offers no suggestions.  Silly, silly narrow software developers). The meal started with a choice of salad or Portobello Mushroom Soup with Italian sausage.  The small serving of the soup was excellent.  They served it with Oyster Crackers, the kind you find in the old supper club when you are trying to wake up your soup’s taste.  Save it T.C. The soup was excellent and it seemed a crime to put the crackers in the tasty concoction.  The Gnocchi was very good.  The main criticism is that the combination of foods tasted a bit too salty.  Instead of the obligatory cream sauce as most Gnocchi dishes dish, they put it in a broth…based on chicken broth.  This is what made it a bit too salty.  The Gnocchi texture was perfect. Chewy, tasty (these are basically potato dumplings).  Large tasty mushrooms accompanied the plate, topped with mozzarella cheese.  Overall, very, very good. Even with the over extended salt content.

Others at the table had: Fried Snapper Turtle in a Amaretto Sauce. Say good bye to Timmy the Turtle, and your four year old cries for three days missing his beloved pet that he never took care of in the first place.  A taste resulted in a really good  entrée…. despite skepticism that this was a novelty plate.  Others had Halibut stuffed with shrimp, Fettucini Alfredo with Udon Noodles, among others.  One plate, the Ribeye with Paremesian crust was just OK. The bone in Ribeye came cooked medium when the order was for medium rare. Eateries such as this often offer steak choices, but really, leave the truly great steaks to places like Capital Grille (morons…what does this mean?) and the like.  The other plate that was great was the Asian Sea Bass served on Cedar Plank. My god, a bevy of taste as the beautifully prepared fish was topped with an Asian Orange Sauce, but not overwhelmed with it. It truly was great, even though the plank looked more like a piece of hickory wood than cedar.

Desert was a sharing on their version of Bananas Foster. I cannot remember their ‘sound bite’ name, but OMG, this was to die for…..I think I rolled some Texan in an alley today screaming for my Twisted Cuisine Bananas Foster.  And I am not normally a desert guy.  By 9:30, the place was half full and it was time to close the tab and move on to the 10K bar scene. But I have no doubt that their night take exceeded $7K in revenue, and for a place this size with their expected decent rents, this makes for a very profitable business assuming your normal 30-35% food costs, which I expect was the case.  For those of you who never have been to this area, you may be confused on my light hearted comments on the bar scene.  Those who have been here, well, you know what I speak of…chances are you have stumbled out of one of these gems.

The menu pricing ranges from a low of around $12 to a high of $27. The $27 is for the rib eye and fillet.  Stay away from those, as mentioned before. Leave this for the great steak places or my patio grill.  Do embrace the interesting, wicked menu offerings that are offered for mainly around $17-19.  This seems to be a sweet spot for the K-town people.  Personally, since I am from larger city Texas area, I am used to paying for the same type of entrées a rate of $25-40. So for me, these prices were spot on and representing a great value to what I am used to.

Over all, I give Twisted Cuisine (Root, Lean, whatever) an 8 out of 10. If you are in the K-town area, you cannot go wrong, but I do recommend reservations. 7546 Sheridan Rd, Kenosha, Wisconsin.  Check the website above for the tele…..

Peace bro’s

An oh, we will be featuring some excellent travel logs on this site from Jason Hockney, a traveling salesman who uses his work to capture the unusual.  Look for a travel log on Kenosha shortly that features this restaurant and other fine qualities of this area….all with a twist and a fine eye guiding the camera.  Send me the links Jason……..


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